i hate being stupid...

maan..i finally got my SAT scores back...and it was sooo hard waiting for freakin 2 whole weeks!! all day today i kept trying hecka computers to get my scores...but none of the computers' internet worked...so finally...after my dentist appointment...i used my own computer to check it...

so yeaa..i know my score now...i was kinda excited to see what i got...cus it was better than i expected...but the other side of my mind was mad cus i wanted something even higher...and then when i finally showed my mom..i was like.."mom look!! i got ______!! aren't you happy?? didnt i do good??" she just looked at me and was like..."what is THAT??"

ooommmggg...i cannot believe my mom is freakin whaccckkko x 100000!!! then i get mad and storm into my room..cus my mom couldnt even say "good job"...or next time you'll do better.." wat the fucccc?! daamnn..i got so mad that i just started crying..and she says.."what are u crying about?? are u proud of what you got??" wat the hell dude...how can anyone say that?? especially my own mom?? and then when i explain to her why im mad...all she can say is.."well...i had higher expectations for you...do better next time..no more going out...focus on verbal..you didn't try your best this time..you were having too much fun.." and then she left....

damn....can things get any worse than this?? first she yells at me for my score..then she practially SAYS that im a freakin failure...wat the fucc dude!!! arrrrggggHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!! im so pissed offff....

im going to church now..i need to get rid of this stress...

and now..............

just now..she apologized............

watever though...im not gonna get over it THAT easily..

i wanna die..i hate my life...im too stupid..

later...

tODay..

went to schOooL..then went to the mall with kyoko and met eric and lorenze there...then we had to go to the DMV cus eric had to get his licence or something...? haha i dunno..then went back to the mall again..and then came back home just now. MAANN...i just realized how freakin easily money dissappears!! i started with a 100..and in like 20 minutes...i had 30 left!! wat the freak?? but maaan..i just gotta keep reminding myself.....CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON OF GIVING..hahha..that;s my motto of this month!! anyways...i bought 3 presents today for three people...but i still have 6 more presents to buy...and i only have like 100 left i think...maaaan..this sucks!! i hate giving yucky presents...i guess this is the time when my mom's MOOLAH comes in handy....better start sucking up...hahha

maaaan...soon it'll be 2004....and eventually...2005....our graduation day!! i guess it still hasnt hit me yet...im a freakin junior..and im here writing in this stupid xanga!! i should be like memorizing SAT vocab words..or finishing homework...or even studying for the 2 chem tests that i  havent even taken yet!!! im so freakin lazy that its not even funny...but i just gotta realize that in the end...it'll be ALLLLLL my fault..i won't be able to blame anyone/anything else for my rejection to all the colleges...this sucks..i need to study harder so i won't be forced to have so many regrets in life..i wanna live a unregreful life...hahhaa..

k well...no more stupid xanga....time for chem homework..and no copying from the back this time..im actually gonna do it!! byEEeeee...

maan..

wat a freakin LOooong weeek!! and it's already saturday!! i hate how the weekdays go by so slow..but the weekends go by suuuper fast!! It's totally unbelievable!! hahha..

anyways..im getting a little annoyed by this *sick* thing..i wanna hurry up and get better!! its sucks being sick..headaches are a constant..sniffling..and coughing like a maniac!! errr...so yeah..hahha..

jeeeeze!! im so excited about xmas!! i cant wait til christmas day...i want my presents!! hehhe..maaan..yesterday..i went shopping to get all the present for everyone on my list...but guess wat happened?? my mom just ended up buying me everything...so i got hecka excited..so i totally forgot about everyone else..im so selfish..i need to get over this!! but maaan..i realized for the first time..that im like totally ADDICTED to shopping and clothes..i get like "high" when i see the clothes i want..and i try it on in the fitting room..hahha..its like weird!! like yesterday..i was trying this peacoat on at a&f...and i was like....OMMMMGGG....i started trembling!! hahhaha..i hecka want it..but its like $150!! a little tooo much!! hehhe..

anyways...today..i stayed home to finally finisht he two chemistry  tests that i need to take on monday...i've been putting them off for like 3 months!! hahha..

so yeaa..well i gtg...Buhhh byeeeeee!

tOday was SAT DAY!! maaan..watta freakin relief that it's all over and that i wont have to experience it again til next year..hEhhee..

anyways...kyoko came to pick me up this morning..got there around 7:45..saw hecka CV people taking SATs 1 and 2..then we finally started the actual test at like 9..and we didnt end til freakin 1pm!! wtfReaak? thats like 4 hours!! but OMG...i met like the cOoOLest/smartesT guy!! hahah..(7th grader)   anyways...i was like wat are u doing here? and he was like.."oh...HArvard sent me a letter to take the SATs." and i was like...waaaaattt?? and OMG!! he's like from think freakin GENIOUS family!! his sister went to Harvard last year...and his older brother goes to UC Berkeley with a double major in computer science and electrical engineering!!! wtfReeaakk?? hahha. and maaan..he goes to this school that costs like $20,000 a freakin year..some college prep school that gets you ready for any ivy league school from the time ur in kindergarten to 12th grade!! dude!! $20,000 a year x 13 years...damn thats hella money!! hahha. anyways..i wanna be like him..hahha..i wanna be smart!! maaan..SATs were really hard..i wasnt 100% sure on any of the questions..im kinda scared..everything seems so unreal to me...i still can't believe that im already a junior..i seem so immature stiLL!! dont u think?? hhaha. am i really ready for college next year?? i dont think so...im scared!! hahhaa...

after SATs...went to go eat japanese food with kyoko...and we tried tempura ice cream for the first time..and we were like "YUUCCK!!" hahha..it was weird..it was like green tea icecream in a deep fried shell thingy...we just ate the ice cream part...the ice cream was yummiE! hEhhe..then i came home...did some homework..watched some tv...then had to go aLLLLL the way to Modesto to watch my sister in this korean kids choir thingy...mann...the church was so far away!! but then guess wat? i saw Sonya there!! Her dad was the pastor at the church that the kids were performing at....it was really cool to see her..but maaan..you know wat? that area smells yuckyy!! hahha..it probably smells like that in UOP too..huh? hahhaa..

and finaLLLLLy...its 10:30 pm...and im homE!!

bOut tO gO to sLEeep nOw! church tomorrow! hHEhee..

buh bYYEEEEeeee....

oOkiee weLL..didnt go to school today..i was just wayy tooooo/majOrLiEee sicck!! i was like blowing my nose all night!! yuucck x 10000!! then got up around like 11..ate some food and took medicine..then around 12..started SERENDIPITY..it reminded me how much i LOVE that movie!! hahha...then a little later..Eric and Kyoko came by..and i was still a mEss! hahah..i was still in my PJs..and my hair wasnt even brushed or anything!! hahah..they stayed for awhile..then went back for 6th period...afterwards..i tried studying for SATs..cus they're TOMORROW!! but then i realized...wat is the freakin point?? its already too late!! what can i possibly learn in the next 24 hours?! heheh..so then..i went back to sleep..and then when my mom came home..i went to Safeway with her to buy some foOd..YUM!! hehhe..

weLL...that was my day! hope everyone had a fun day toO! isnt everyone super happy that its friday?? haha. maaan...i wanted to go to church tonight...cus Dublin Church is coming..but i cant cus im sick and cus of SATs tomorrow..oH weLL..

anyways..everyone have a super weekend! k? stay safe!! hahah

bYEeeee...

PS..

oH maaan!! why is he sO freakin finE?? hahha